You’re A Dog Lover If…

dog-with-red-rose.jpgHere’s a funny (but true) look at what makes someone a dog person…

How many of these things do you do???

 

You have a picture of your dog on your cellphone. (Bonus points if that picture is set as your cellphone’s screensaver.)

Your dog is the star of all your home videos.

You have an entire shelf in your freezer devoted just to stuffed KONG toys for your dog.

You splurge on the best-smelling latest & greatest dog shampoos.

Your dog gets a nail trim far more often than you get a manicure or a pedicure. (Bonus points if you actually paint your dog’s toenails.)

You have a framed picture of your dog on your desk or your wall. (Bonus points if you have no other pictures but your dog’s!)

You spend more on dog clothes than on clothes for yourself.

You “spell” words instead of saying them out loud in the presence of your dog (like “C-A-R” and “T-R-E-A-T”).

You’ve ever gone on a date with someone else… and their dog!

Your dog eats better than you do much of the time.

You have more dog beds than you have dogs.

Your dog has an “official” toy box — stuffed to the gills with dog toys.

You can’t go into a department store without swinging by the pet department first to see if they’ve got any new toys or treats to try.

You have baby gates permanently installed at strategic places around the house, but no babies.

Your dog has enjoyed far more luxurious “spa” treatments than you ever have: aromatherapy shampoos, doggie robe, special puppy bath towel, calming & soothing puppy colognes.

You take your dog to the vet for check-ups more than you go to the doctor each year.

Your dog wears more “bling” than you do.

You have more pictures of your dog than of your own relatives in your home.

The only books you buy these days are about dogs: dog training, dog tricks, dog behaviors, dog breeds, dog personalities.

You pay more attention to the fat & calories in your dog’s diet than you do your own.

You own more than one lint remover. (Bonus points if your supply is so large that you own several unused lint brushes right now.)

You’re perfectly content to drink at home — alone — in the company of your dog, rather than going out partying with friends.

Your dog’s a mixed breed, yet you would never dream of calling him “a mutt”.

You’ve used your dog’s shampoo.

You find Pet Talk Radio interesting.

You do scrapbooks as a hobby, and most of the pages are about your dog.

Your dog is always restrained when riding in the car. You, on the other hand, don’t always wear your seatbelt.

You have a “special channel” that you tune your TV to when you’re gone (…for the dog).

You have a kiddie wading pool in the yard, but no small children.

You’ve put more thought into which doggie-proof trash cans to invest in than which mutual funds you should invest in.

You have to refrain yourself from talking about your dog all the time around friends.

When buying a new house, you chose the color of your carpet based on which one is least likely to show your dog’s fur.

Your computer screensaver is a picture of your dog.

You haven’t seen out the passenger-side window in months due to all the doggie slobber and nose prints on the inside.

You’d rather shop for dog stuff than people stuff.

Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other. (Are there worms? Any socks?)

You refer to yourselves as “mommy” and “daddy” when talking to your dog.

You let your dog lick you — on the lips — despite the fact that you know where those lips have been.

You like people who like your dog. You don’t like people who don’t.

You never leave the house without: a dog leash, a pooper scooper, a water bottle, and a few dog treats.

When sending greeting cards from your family, you include your dog’s name too.

You don’t offer to drive anymore, because you’d have to work too hard to de-fur the car!

You’d rather talk at length with another dog lover than your own mother. (Bonus points for “…rather than your own spouse.)

You have a dozen different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but he understands.

When shopping, you choose clothes, rugs, blankets, and pillows based on how a) how well they will repel dog fur and b) how likely they are to show the color of your dog’s fur.

You keep eating… even after finding a dog hair in your food. (Bonus points if you serve food to others, despite the fact that you saw a hair in it.)

You’ve lied to protect your dog before.

You make frequent visits to pet stores that allow you to take pets inside …just because they allow you to take pets inside.

You’ve found a-million-and-one uses for Wet Ones.

You purchased a handheld shower-massage more for your dog’s benefit than yours.

Your dog smells better than you do (doggie cologne, special-scented shampoos).

Whenever there’s an event in town, you think about going… but only if you can take your dog. (Bonus points if you’ve taken your dog, despite the fact that the event was clearly marked “No dogs allowed.”)

You always save your last bite of food for your dog.

You’re always on the lookout for the latest & greatest gadgets for dogs on the Internet and in stores. (Bonus points if you’ve purchased more online for your dog than for you.)

Your dog’s name is your computer password.

You own lots of dog stuff… for YOU! (…bumper stickers, license plate frame, magazines, picture frames, books, jewelry)

You don’t go out after work with friends because you’d rather go home and see your dog.

You get choked up when you watch Animal Planet.

You’ve considered including your dog in your wedding… or in someone else’s wedding.

You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner… and, it’s just going to get furry again!

You’ve had a birthday party for your dog. (Bonus points if other dogs actually attended.)

Your dog gets Christmas presents from Santa.

Your weekend activities are planned around activities that your dog will enjoy.

You’ve baked your dog special homemade treats. (Bonus points if you bake more for your dog than you do for yourself.)

When asked if you’d like a box for the leftovers at a restaurant… the leftovers are usually for your dog, rather than for you.

Your dog has a web page, but you don’t.

Lynnette Walczak

I like to help people find unique ways to do things in order to save time & money -- so I frequently write about "outside the box" ideas that most wouldn't think of. As a lifelong dog owner, I often share my best tips for living with and training dogs. I worked in Higher Ed several years until switching gears to pursue things I was more passionate about. I've worked at a vet, in a photo lab, and at a zoo -- to name a few. I enjoy the outdoors via bicycle, motorcycle, Jeep, or RV. You can always find me at the corner of Good News & Fun Times as publisher of The Fun Times Guide (32 fun websites).

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